Right about now!

March 29, 2005

Traumatic Day

So yesterday afternoon, while watching the Oprash Show, I feel this bump in my mouth, I check it out and it feels like a bone or a tooth right there. I search my mouth some more and then it definitely felt like a tooth. It's in the upper palate, probably a centimetre and a half behind my front row of teeth. I did start to panick a bit and I couldn't wait to get to the dentist to find out what the hell this was.

I visit the dentist in the evening and he tells me it's my permanent tooth, which couldn't push down my canine milk tooth thats gone astray and is coming out throw my upper palate! Like a misdirected missile. The tooths probably been formed for over a decade and it's only showing up now. I'm still not sure whether the tooth will continue to come out slowly, if it does it's going to be very uncomfortable having an extra tooth jutting out of your upper palate. Ofcourse, the course of action at this point is to check with an orthodontist if this tooth can be surgically put back on the right path to fix it back into place. This would probably involve me wearing braces for a very long time. The other option is to dig into my palate and remove this permanent tooth. It's this option which seems the more likelier one for me.

Ofcourse the thought of any surgery sends your head spinning, especially for someone who's never been through one in his life. So many thoughts went were going around in my head when I was waiting for my X-ray, I went through the whole "Why did this happen to me?" phase to the "Be Strong, Monish" phase. I realised it's important to always be prepared for an episode like this, it's important to be tough mentally, having good support here would help a lot. Unofrtunately, I don't have a good support system here. Also, it's important for the doctor to make you feel at ease. The 2nd doctor we were referred to was a "Maxi Facial surgeon", she was very nice, told me this is not uncommon and not to worry about the surgical procedure. She said I could wait upto 2 years to complete my studies etc. before going ahead with the surgery.

I feel better than I did last evening. I know if and when I need the surgery, I will go ahead with it. It sounds bizarre talking about surgery when 24 hrs ago it was the thing furthest from my mind. Goes to show how things can turn on their head in no time. This, along with the fact that I leave for London in 4 days time, and for the US in 2 months time was really making my head spin. But a few long deep breaths set me sraight.

The London Trip 2005

The Virgin Atlantic tickets arrived this morning. I guess it's finally setting in that I will be making the trip. Not the perfect time or circumstances but having to deal with everything that lead upto his trip's made me stronger.

I've read up many reviews of Virgin Atlantic flights and they seem to be a really good airline. This should be some experience. 9 and a half hours of flying non-stop isn't very appealing to me but I'll pull through. Also, this would be just the 3rd flight to London from Mumbai so I hope VA has got it's logistics alright and that nobody screws up.

I've done most of my shopping, not an awful lot really, got my digital camera and suitcase so I guess I'm good to go. Still got some last minute stuff like socks and a belt to buy, I'll get those today I hope. This isn't the best of planned trips, kind of like our last trip in 2000. I'm hoping situations and opportunities arise when I'm there and I make pretty good use of my time there. I know there won't be any cricket this time around because I'm our of practice and I also nearly busted my knee on the rickshaw last night :(

Things are going to be really different when I get back from the trip. I have to focus on my MBA plans, getting bthe Visa, finding out a place to stay etc. etc. Somedays I'm really motivated and inspired and some other days I feel like this is just not worth it. But worth it, it is. I know this because I've been planning this for over 3 years now. I guess after all the hard work and gruelling emotional roller coaster etc. it's all worth it in the end. I so hope so.

Posted by me on Tuesday, March 29, 2005

March 24, 2005

My first Digital Camera - The Canon PowerShot A400

So I finally decided to get myself the best digital camera ever. Well, for my budget anyways. The Canon PowerShot A400 is finally in my hands. After fooling around with it for a day and half and running out 2 pairs of batteries, I can safely say this is a fantastic camera, it is everything I read about it on the various reviews on the internet, and a heck of a lot more.

I got the silver coloured one, just like the one in the photo above. I wanted the blue one but the guy selling it didn't have one so Silver it is. Can't say I've taken very many fabulous photos with it yet but I'm sure I'll get around to taking some interesting photos soon. I'm gonna setup my account on Flickr soon. I have to admit, it was browsing through the photos on Flickr and Webshots that really, really inspired me to go get the camera. I just couldn't resist it, after reading so many reviews and seeing so many beautiful photos taken by people, thank god for the internet!

So now it's two products in a row I've broughtafter conducting intensive research on the internet. I always thought of myself as the cheapskate who was on the lookout for a bargain deall but on both occasiona, with my mp3 player and the digital camera, I've exceeded my budget, gone for quality over cheap price. I guess I'm not such a cheapass after all ;)

There's lot to figure out still on the camera. I still take a few shaky shots every now n then and I have to figure out the modes and everything else. It's really a great camera and I'll probably get around to writing a full review of this when I'm competent enough to operate all the functions on this animal with ease. This post just comemorates the arrival of my first digital camera, ahhh sweetness.

Posted by me on Thursday, March 24, 2005

March 19, 2005

It's getting fucking hot here in Mumbai. This is one things thats bothering me the past few years, it seems to be getting hotter and hotter, earlier each year. It's the middle of March and it feels like May now. I'm not really sure how to keep myself cool. I bought myself some juice today, it was some shitty Tropicana Orange and Grape mixed up juice, it didn't taste great, sure as hell didn't cool me down and to top it off, there wasn't enough of it. Why's juice so fucking expensive in this country???? It's squeezed fruit with some sugar, and in some cases no sugar, isn't it?

I've been eating very well the past few days. A little too well I should think. I actually got around to jogging regularly on the beach and was feeling good about my body when suddenly I had this urge to reward myself and went on this binging spree. Now I'm back to square one, I felt awful earlier in the day. A 10 minute jog ofcourse fixed that and I don't feel half as bad now. So let's see the day before I had chinese food from Kumars, yesterday I had chicken tandoori from raju's and today I got us some parathas from a place in Juhu. I'm gonna run a mile tommorow.

So I got some money from a little project I did for a company in England. Not a lot, about half the cost of the digital camera I'm looking to get. I've gotten varying quotes for this camera so I'm not sure what to believe, but buy it I will. Sometimes I think, what am I gonna take pictures of in Mumbai? The slums? The poor beggar kids? the garbage dumps and awful roads? I suppose so, I guess I'll miss all of those too when I'm not here. Also, I want to take a zillion pictures of my Cat, my family, the place I live etc. etc. all the famliar places.

I'm glad I bought that CD writer, I can write all my photos onto discs and take em with me wherever I go. Last year, one of my brotjers friends didn't get around to writing a few CD's for us. Now, when I see how dogshit easy it is to write a CD, I think what kind of a mean bastard do you have to be to not take 5 minutes out to write your friends a CD!I'm off to get a bunch of writeable CD"s tomorrow. On Monday I go looking for the digital camera and also go drop in our Visa forms.

Posted by me on Saturday, March 19, 2005

March 15, 2005

Mood Swings

I've never been the type of person who's been able to make up his mind very easily. I get distracted easily. I play around with too many options at the same time, I'm not as focussed as a lot of other people. I'm not really a dreamer, I don't have romantic visions of the future of the future and I don't drift away writing poetry or anything like that. On the contrary, I'm a pragmatist, a realist. I'm just not very focusssed, don't think anyone in my family is.

A couple of years ago, I wrote down the differences I thought of at the time between a "Loser" and a "Winner". One of the first things I put up on that list was that a "Loser" tends to lose focus, he might have the same drive and determination as a winner but if you get distracted from your goals, you're probably not going to achieve what you set out to in the first place. I still do agree with most of that. What I'm thinking of right now is, how important is it to be a winner? And when do you actually sit back and say..Wow! I've achieved so much, I'm a winner! To me, thats relative. Here in Bombay, people would judge success by the amount of money you make, no necessarily by how happy you are. I'm not even sure people here equate money with success, it's like making money is the sole purpose of your life. I've seen very few examples of people with less money making the most of their lives, being happy and really content. I know of a few, but generally, people here in Bombay would call them losers too.

My values and ambitions in life are somewhat disconnected from those of this city. Thats probably because I only started living here from when I was 10 years old. You may think that a persons ambitions, values etc. are formed only after that age, but don't underestimate the impact those first 10 years of your life can have on your psyche. I believe much of my persoanliy was formed in those early years. Bombay to me now seems like the perfect urban nightmare, and it's not even the hellish roads and the infrastructure thats makiing it a nightmare, it's the people.

Anyways, so I've been making some good progress on setting up my blog. Just this morning I said to myself, Hey, wait a minute, why do you want that own dotcom? Fancy design and everything, when this free Blogger tool should suit you just fine, and has suited me for the past couple of years? It suddenly felt like I'd be wasting my time on money on setting up this blog. I'm just very confused at this stage. I probably will go ahead with it though, it's probably my conscience trying to shirk away from all the work thats gonna be needed! I'm going to teach that rascal a lesson!

So, here's a few things I need to do :

Get my own Domain Name
Look up a good hosting service and sign up
Look up some more dealers for the Digicam you're looking for
Buy that digicam!
Buy the CD-Writer you've been meaning to for months now
Buy a USB hub cos you only got one working USB port!

Okay, so it's not necessarily going to happen in that order, but I do need to get all of that done. Here's hoping I do real soon!

Earthquake!

So I was sitting in my chair, watching TV yesterday at around 3.15 when my chair starting shaking! I thought it was Putu the cat climbing up the side of my chair, I got up and walked about and it'd stopped by then. It's funny how you can tell when it's an earthquake, it's not your normal shake up. This feels like your intestines are moving around for a bit and then stops. I didn't say anything cos I didn't want to sound stupid, but my Dad said he felt the shaking too and thats when I knew that it was indeed an earthquake! Ofcourse 15 minutes after that, it was all over the news. Just plain scary this!

Posted by me on Tuesday, March 15, 2005

March 09, 2005

Is Change really a good thing?

We all know change is inevitable. The way I see it, things in your life change in 2 ways. One, the slow but sure change, you grow older, you get educated, you start working, you have your family, suddenly it hits you when you're 45 (or 25 even sometimes!) that wow! things've changed so much. I used to be that way, now I'm like this, I can't believe how I dressed back then and so on.

The other way change can arrive is when it comes upon you suddenly. You're happy with the way life is and you think this is how it's gonna be for a while to come, but there comes a time when you have to force change upon yourself. Over time I've understood and realised that status-quo in one's life is not necessarily a good thing, you need to shake things up a bit, look at things differently etc. No matter how much you plan change in your life, it's probably gonna feel like it's arrived all of a sudden.

I don't know about other people, but I sure know I find it hard to sway from my comfort zone. I've grown used to my kind of lifestyle, I know it's not good for my future and some change will do me good but if bringing change in to your life means feeling scared, uncertainity etc. is it really a good thing? We know change is good, but with change we feel all this emotions, some of them not very positive at all, how do you weigh whether a situation for change is beneficial to you or not? How do you even prepare for change?

I think, in life as we grow older we learn lessons in coping with change. A lesson I've learnt of late is to always be on your toes, and try not to get comfortable in the situation you are, things could drastically change for you overnight and you should be prepared for that.

In the coming months things are going to change for me. It's the kind of change I've brought upon myself. I'm going to have to leave my comfort zone, leave behind everything and everyone who's meant something to me over the past decade and half. I'm developing my own coping mechanism to deal with this impending change. I take strength from the millions of young men who've left home over the years. Men have left home to fight wars, to work in foreign countries, in worse circumstances than I will have to. I am blessed to be born in an era where communication is so easy and you are never really THAT faraway from home.

I know what I am setting out to do is good for me and for those who care for me, and the thought of this spurs me on. There comes a time in every boys life when he faces a turning point in his life an he has no choice but to stand up and be counted as a man. I guess my time has come.

He who does not listen will have to feel

Posted by me on Wednesday, March 09, 2005

March 06, 2005

Learnings and Thoughts on New Site

So, I've been toying with the idea of trying to setup my own dotcom and making into this super website which'd have everything everyone's ever dream of on a website. Turns out, it's not that easy. But I'm learning bit by bit so I actually appreciate this experience.

I find it hard to imagine how much the internet and website design has moved forward in the past few years. I wasn't exactly keeping myself update on the technologies so I'm having a lot of catching up to do. First thing I noticed was how PHP was the all encompassing, rule all scripting language on the internet. I downloaded some tutorials on that, installed PHP on my PC, hopelessly failed to get MySQL working though :( Quickyl got bored of the hype and then moved on to exploring all the wonderful Php powered Open source applications available out there. This was a real eye opener for me. For a while, I thought we'd lost the internet, nothing seemed to be available for free, and here I was seeing these awesome tools being engineered by such smart ppl from across the world. I knew I had to atleast try to start appreciating these, it'd be a shame not to!

So I signed up for a free Php host and started installing one by one all the popular Php powered programs out there, PhpBB, Mambo CMS, Moveable type... I've played around with each of them, getting quickly bored of one and then moving on o another. I seriouslike Moveable type, it was easy to install and to operate. I was thinking of using this to power my blog posts in the new website I hope to build. But I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out the technical aspects of designing a Wordpress 1.5 Theme! I'll probably be wasting shitloads of energy trying to figure it out, I'd be better off using the time working on my design or something. Damn, should've tried learning Php a little harder! lol

I also learnt CSS in the past few weeks. This really got me excited and wondering why the fucking hell I didn't try to learn this a few years ago? It's just what I need! Anyways, I'm no pro yet, far from it. But I got the basics of the thing and I think I could build a pretty decent site with what I know already.

So my plan for the structure of my new site would be this, a slick but simple CSS lasyout which I will try to make consistent across the pages, unless I feel certain pages need to look different. I'd like Wordpress to power my static pages, but because of the problem I mentioned above, it seems very unlikely :( Anyways, I got Blogger, don't I? :) I think it'll eb easier to build a simple CSS template and throw in the blogger tags and get blogger to power my posts than messing with the whole Wordpress thing. Just my thoughts for now.

Posted by me on Sunday, March 06, 2005

Right about Now!
Fried Chicken, life in a Bombay suburb, and an unclear future....My Life
ABOUT 24/m, Mumbai, India. A blog about his life, work and pretty much anything else around him. PHOTOS Me My Brother and I I and my brother ...Again Putu the Cat Baby Pictures! MY BLOGROLL Anita Bora Indian Ink Pass the tequila Pieces of the puzzle Jivha - The Tongue sJ --> bLoGGiN Life is like that The Checkered Red Tie GetAFix Thought Waves The Eternal Quest Siddharth's Random Stuff Uri Geller THE RIGHT MUSIC! THE RIGHT Links! The Boy Who Cried Iraq Best Page in the Universe! Search Engine Optimization News Red Carpets Dynamometer Software Uri Geller Uri Geller Design	March 29, 2005 Traumatic Day So yesterday afternoon, while watching the Oprash Show, I feel this bump in my mouth, I check it out and it feels like a bone or a tooth right there. I search my mouth some more and then it definitely felt like a tooth. It's in the upper palate, probably a centimetre and a half behind my front row of teeth. I did start to panick a bit and I couldn't wait to get to the dentist to find out what the hell this was. I visit the dentist in the evening and he tells me it's my permanent tooth, which couldn't push down my canine milk tooth thats gone astray and is coming out throw my upper palate! Like a misdirected missile. The tooths probably been formed for over a decade and it's only showing up now. I'm still not sure whether the tooth will continue to come out slowly, if it does it's going to be very uncomfortable having an extra tooth jutting out of your upper palate. Ofcourse, the course of action at this point is to check with an orthodontist if this tooth can be surgically put back on the right path to fix it back into place. This would probably involve me wearing braces for a very long time. The other option is to dig into my palate and remove this permanent tooth. It's this option which seems the more likelier one for me. Ofcourse the thought of any surgery sends your head spinning, especially for someone who's never been through one in his life. So many thoughts went were going around in my head when I was waiting for my X-ray, I went through the whole "Why did this happen to me?" phase to the "Be Strong, Monish" phase. I realised it's important to always be prepared for an episode like this, it's important to be tough mentally, having good support here would help a lot. Unofrtunately, I don't have a good support system here. Also, it's important for the doctor to make you feel at ease. The 2nd doctor we were referred to was a "Maxi Facial surgeon", she was very nice, told me this is not uncommon and not to worry about the surgical procedure. She said I could wait upto 2 years to complete my studies etc. before going ahead with the surgery. I feel better than I did last evening. I know if and when I need the surgery, I will go ahead with it. It sounds bizarre talking about surgery when 24 hrs ago it was the thing furthest from my mind. Goes to show how things can turn on their head in no time. This, along with the fact that I leave for London in 4 days time, and for the US in 2 months time was really making my head spin. But a few long deep breaths set me sraight. The London Trip 2005 The Virgin Atlantic tickets arrived this morning. I guess it's finally setting in that I will be making the trip. Not the perfect time or circumstances but having to deal with everything that lead upto his trip's made me stronger. I've read up many reviews of Virgin Atlantic flights and they seem to be a really good airline. This should be some experience. 9 and a half hours of flying non-stop isn't very appealing to me but I'll pull through. Also, this would be just the 3rd flight to London from Mumbai so I hope VA has got it's logistics alright and that nobody screws up. I've done most of my shopping, not an awful lot really, got my digital camera and suitcase so I guess I'm good to go. Still got some last minute stuff like socks and a belt to buy, I'll get those today I hope. This isn't the best of planned trips, kind of like our last trip in 2000. I'm hoping situations and opportunities arise when I'm there and I make pretty good use of my time there. I know there won't be any cricket this time around because I'm our of practice and I also nearly busted my knee on the rickshaw last night :( Things are going to be really different when I get back from the trip. I have to focus on my MBA plans, getting bthe Visa, finding out a place to stay etc. etc. Somedays I'm really motivated and inspired and some other days I feel like this is just not worth it. But worth it, it is. I know this because I've been planning this for over 3 years now. I guess after all the hard work and gruelling emotional roller coaster etc. it's all worth it in the end. I so hope so. Posted by me on Tuesday, March 29, 2005 March 24, 2005 My first Digital Camera - The Canon PowerShot A400 So I finally decided to get myself the best digital camera ever. Well, for my budget anyways. The Canon PowerShot A400 is finally in my hands. After fooling around with it for a day and half and running out 2 pairs of batteries, I can safely say this is a fantastic camera, it is everything I read about it on the various reviews on the internet, and a heck of a lot more. I got the silver coloured one, just like the one in the photo above. I wanted the blue one but the guy selling it didn't have one so Silver it is. Can't say I've taken very many fabulous photos with it yet but I'm sure I'll get around to taking some interesting photos soon. I'm gonna setup my account on Flickr soon. I have to admit, it was browsing through the photos on Flickr and Webshots that really, really inspired me to go get the camera. I just couldn't resist it, after reading so many reviews and seeing so many beautiful photos taken by people, thank god for the internet! So now it's two products in a row I've broughtafter conducting intensive research on the internet. I always thought of myself as the cheapskate who was on the lookout for a bargain deall but on both occasiona, with my mp3 player and the digital camera, I've exceeded my budget, gone for quality over cheap price. I guess I'm not such a cheapass after all ;) There's lot to figure out still on the camera. I still take a few shaky shots every now n then and I have to figure out the modes and everything else. It's really a great camera and I'll probably get around to writing a full review of this when I'm competent enough to operate all the functions on this animal with ease. This post just comemorates the arrival of my first digital camera, ahhh sweetness. Posted by me on Thursday, March 24, 2005 March 19, 2005 It's getting fucking hot here in Mumbai. This is one things thats bothering me the past few years, it seems to be getting hotter and hotter, earlier each year. It's the middle of March and it feels like May now. I'm not really sure how to keep myself cool. I bought myself some juice today, it was some shitty Tropicana Orange and Grape mixed up juice, it didn't taste great, sure as hell didn't cool me down and to top it off, there wasn't enough of it. Why's juice so fucking expensive in this country???? It's squeezed fruit with some sugar, and in some cases no sugar, isn't it? I've been eating very well the past few days. A little too well I should think. I actually got around to jogging regularly on the beach and was feeling good about my body when suddenly I had this urge to reward myself and went on this binging spree. Now I'm back to square one, I felt awful earlier in the day. A 10 minute jog ofcourse fixed that and I don't feel half as bad now. So let's see the day before I had chinese food from Kumars, yesterday I had chicken tandoori from raju's and today I got us some parathas from a place in Juhu. I'm gonna run a mile tommorow. So I got some money from a little project I did for a company in England. Not a lot, about half the cost of the digital camera I'm looking to get. I've gotten varying quotes for this camera so I'm not sure what to believe, but buy it I will. Sometimes I think, what am I gonna take pictures of in Mumbai? The slums? The poor beggar kids? the garbage dumps and awful roads? I suppose so, I guess I'll miss all of those too when I'm not here. Also, I want to take a zillion pictures of my Cat, my family, the place I live etc. etc. all the famliar places. I'm glad I bought that CD writer, I can write all my photos onto discs and take em with me wherever I go. Last year, one of my brotjers friends didn't get around to writing a few CD's for us. Now, when I see how dogshit easy it is to write a CD, I think what kind of a mean bastard do you have to be to not take 5 minutes out to write your friends a CD!I'm off to get a bunch of writeable CD"s tomorrow. On Monday I go looking for the digital camera and also go drop in our Visa forms. Posted by me on Saturday, March 19, 2005 March 15, 2005 Mood Swings I've never been the type of person who's been able to make up his mind very easily. I get distracted easily. I play around with too many options at the same time, I'm not as focussed as a lot of other people. I'm not really a dreamer, I don't have romantic visions of the future of the future and I don't drift away writing poetry or anything like that. On the contrary, I'm a pragmatist, a realist. I'm just not very focusssed, don't think anyone in my family is. A couple of years ago, I wrote down the differences I thought of at the time between a "Loser" and a "Winner". One of the first things I put up on that list was that a "Loser" tends to lose focus, he might have the same drive and determination as a winner but if you get distracted from your goals, you're probably not going to achieve what you set out to in the first place. I still do agree with most of that. What I'm thinking of right now is, how important is it to be a winner? And when do you actually sit back and say..Wow! I've achieved so much, I'm a winner! To me, thats relative. Here in Bombay, people would judge success by the amount of money you make, no necessarily by how happy you are. I'm not even sure people here equate money with success, it's like making money is the sole purpose of your life. I've seen very few examples of people with less money making the most of their lives, being happy and really content. I know of a few, but generally, people here in Bombay would call them losers too. My values and ambitions in life are somewhat disconnected from those of this city. Thats probably because I only started living here from when I was 10 years old. You may think that a persons ambitions, values etc. are formed only after that age, but don't underestimate the impact those first 10 years of your life can have on your psyche. I believe much of my persoanliy was formed in those early years. Bombay to me now seems like the perfect urban nightmare, and it's not even the hellish roads and the infrastructure thats makiing it a nightmare, it's the people. Anyways, so I've been making some good progress on setting up my blog. Just this morning I said to myself, Hey, wait a minute, why do you want that own dotcom? Fancy design and everything, when this free Blogger tool should suit you just fine, and has suited me for the past couple of years? It suddenly felt like I'd be wasting my time on money on setting up this blog. I'm just very confused at this stage. I probably will go ahead with it though, it's probably my conscience trying to shirk away from all the work thats gonna be needed! I'm going to teach that rascal a lesson! So, here's a few things I need to do : Get my own Domain Name Look up a good hosting service and sign up Look up some more dealers for the Digicam you're looking for Buy that digicam! Buy the CD-Writer you've been meaning to for months now Buy a USB hub cos you only got one working USB port! Okay, so it's not necessarily going to happen in that order, but I do need to get all of that done. Here's hoping I do real soon! Earthquake! So I was sitting in my chair, watching TV yesterday at around 3.15 when my chair starting shaking! I thought it was Putu the cat climbing up the side of my chair, I got up and walked about and it'd stopped by then. It's funny how you can tell when it's an earthquake, it's not your normal shake up. This feels like your intestines are moving around for a bit and then stops. I didn't say anything cos I didn't want to sound stupid, but my Dad said he felt the shaking too and thats when I knew that it was indeed an earthquake! Ofcourse 15 minutes after that, it was all over the news. Just plain scary this! Posted by me on Tuesday, March 15, 2005 March 09, 2005 Is Change really a good thing? We all know change is inevitable. The way I see it, things in your life change in 2 ways. One, the slow but sure change, you grow older, you get educated, you start working, you have your family, suddenly it hits you when you're 45 (or 25 even sometimes!) that wow! things've changed so much. I used to be that way, now I'm like this, I can't believe how I dressed back then and so on. The other way change can arrive is when it comes upon you suddenly. You're happy with the way life is and you think this is how it's gonna be for a while to come, but there comes a time when you have to force change upon yourself. Over time I've understood and realised that status-quo in one's life is not necessarily a good thing, you need to shake things up a bit, look at things differently etc. No matter how much you plan change in your life, it's probably gonna feel like it's arrived all of a sudden. I don't know about other people, but I sure know I find it hard to sway from my comfort zone. I've grown used to my kind of lifestyle, I know it's not good for my future and some change will do me good but if bringing change in to your life means feeling scared, uncertainity etc. is it really a good thing? We know change is good, but with change we feel all this emotions, some of them not very positive at all, how do you weigh whether a situation for change is beneficial to you or not? How do you even prepare for change? I think, in life as we grow older we learn lessons in coping with change. A lesson I've learnt of late is to always be on your toes, and try not to get comfortable in the situation you are, things could drastically change for you overnight and you should be prepared for that. In the coming months things are going to change for me. It's the kind of change I've brought upon myself. I'm going to have to leave my comfort zone, leave behind everything and everyone who's meant something to me over the past decade and half. I'm developing my own coping mechanism to deal with this impending change. I take strength from the millions of young men who've left home over the years. Men have left home to fight wars, to work in foreign countries, in worse circumstances than I will have to. I am blessed to be born in an era where communication is so easy and you are never really THAT faraway from home. I know what I am setting out to do is good for me and for those who care for me, and the thought of this spurs me on. There comes a time in every boys life when he faces a turning point in his life an he has no choice but to stand up and be counted as a man. I guess my time has come. He who does not listen will have to feel Posted by me on Wednesday, March 09, 2005 March 06, 2005 Learnings and Thoughts on New Site So, I've been toying with the idea of trying to setup my own dotcom and making into this super website which'd have everything everyone's ever dream of on a website. Turns out, it's not that easy. But I'm learning bit by bit so I actually appreciate this experience. I find it hard to imagine how much the internet and website design has moved forward in the past few years. I wasn't exactly keeping myself update on the technologies so I'm having a lot of catching up to do. First thing I noticed was how PHP was the all encompassing, rule all scripting language on the internet. I downloaded some tutorials on that, installed PHP on my PC, hopelessly failed to get MySQL working though :( Quickyl got bored of the hype and then moved on to exploring all the wonderful Php powered Open source applications available out there. This was a real eye opener for me. For a while, I thought we'd lost the internet, nothing seemed to be available for free, and here I was seeing these awesome tools being engineered by such smart ppl from across the world. I knew I had to atleast try to start appreciating these, it'd be a shame not to! So I signed up for a free Php host and started installing one by one all the popular Php powered programs out there, PhpBB, Mambo CMS, Moveable type... I've played around with each of them, getting quickly bored of one and then moving on o another. I seriouslike Moveable type, it was easy to install and to operate. I was thinking of using this to power my blog posts in the new website I hope to build. But I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out the technical aspects of designing a Wordpress 1.5 Theme! I'll probably be wasting shitloads of energy trying to figure it out, I'd be better off using the time working on my design or something. Damn, should've tried learning Php a little harder! lol I also learnt CSS in the past few weeks. This really got me excited and wondering why the fucking hell I didn't try to learn this a few years ago? It's just what I need! Anyways, I'm no pro yet, far from it. But I got the basics of the thing and I think I could build a pretty decent site with what I know already. So my plan for the structure of my new site would be this, a slick but simple CSS lasyout which I will try to make consistent across the pages, unless I feel certain pages need to look different. I'd like Wordpress to power my static pages, but because of the problem I mentioned above, it seems very unlikely :( Anyways, I got Blogger, don't I? :) I think it'll eb easier to build a simple CSS template and throw in the blogger tags and get blogger to power my posts than messing with the whole Wordpress thing. Just my thoughts for now. Posted by me on Sunday, March 06, 2005	WHY "RIGHT ABOUT NOW"? There's something good around the corner, something that should come my way right about...Now! 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It is never too late to be what you might have been. -George Eliot